p.s. - I SUCK at blogging...

... so here's the deal...

I've had a 'private' blog that very few people actually know about (and at that even they don't really know who I am) since I was in High School.

I post all my dirty little secrets on that blog... All the strange thoughts I have... the more strange interactions that I have with people that I generally keep to myself.

As I was writing a new poem in it today... I suddenly realized that I keep my 'private' blog pretty much up-to-date, however I never write in my public blog. What the crap is up with that? Do I just not care? Was I simply doing it because it was a trend? Am I doing it because I wanted to get responses from people, that I just didn't get?

Was I doing it because I truly wanted help, and accountability and nobody responded but one person? (Thank you so much for your heart Bro.)

Why do we blog?

As of September 2007, blog search engine Technorati was tracking more than 106 million blogs. ONE HUNDRED SIX MILLION blogs.

Do we think people care about our stories? Do we think people are interested in what we have to say? Speak now, or forever hold your peace...

I thought about this a lot today, as I was sitting at my desk listening to the new album from a buddy of mine, Scotty McFall (myspace.com/scottmcfall) at deafining levels on account of me being the only one here.

Can a life be changed by a paragraph that I 'e-pen' here? By a sentence? A word?

As some of you know, I'm a POST SECRET fanatic.. I've been following this incredible website since like '99. It's an amazing art website, where you create a homemade postcard with your deepest, darkest secret and mail it in. People can e-mail the website and 'respond' to some of the secrets. It's really a great thing.

I, myself, have actually had two of my secrets posted on there in the last few years.

The site is changed every Sunday. I logged on today to check the new secrets. One REALLY caught my eye:

Now, it wasn't the the card that got my attention so much as what followed did. You see, a young man named Ryan in South Dakota responded to the postcard saying:

"Dear Frank,

I feel the same way. I often wonder why I even have a phone because I rarely receive calls. If there was a way we could contact each other that would be cool. My phone number is 605-212-7787 (with permission).

Sincerely,
Ryan (with permission)"

I thought "For real!?! Did this guy ACTUALLY put his phone number up on there? Does he not know that he's going to get FLOODED with calls from people like me, who just want to call him because he put it up there?!!"

Of course, as is my nature, I instantly grabbed the phone, opened it up, took a deep breath and called the number.

"What am I going to say to him?" I thought "Should I prank him? Should I be serious? Will he even pick up?"

The phone rang.

It rang again.

And again.

"Man, I'm going to have to leave a message... huh."

It rang.

And then once more.

After the 5th ring, a soft spoken voice came across the other side... "Hello?"

"Hey Ryan?"

"Yes."

"My name is Slim, from Ft. Myers, FL"

"Slim!! How are you!"

I had to look at my phone... did this guy really know me? I mean seriously... what are the odds?

"I'm fine, thank you! And yourself?" I responded.

"I've been so great lately."

"Yeah? Why's that?"

"I've talked to some of the most amazing people lately, from ALL over the world. It's amazing how I can't get anyone around me to speak to me... I have no real friends... nobody here who actually cares. But for the past week I've been flooded with people calling up, just to tell me that they love me."

I hesitated to speak as my mind raced... in THIS moment God convicted me in such a huge way. Because I AM everyone in South Dakota that neglected this guy. I AM the person who makes people sad and lonely. I AM the person makes others feel left out... looked-over... worthless, not for the things that I do, but for the things that I do NOT do.

At the moment, the only thing that was in my brain was "They will know that we are Christians by our love."

Man.

"I love you." Three very simple words. Words that get thrown around too much. But do we ever think about how powerful those words are? Maybe they've lost their meaning to those of us who hear them constantly, but do we think about how much it affects the people who never hear it?

I poured through the Word, trying to find descriptions of love.

Proverbs 10:12
Hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers over all wrongs.

Song of Solomon 8:6
Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave.

Song of Solomon 8:7
Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away. If one were to give all the wealth of his house for love, it would be utterly scorned.

John 15:13
Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.

1 Corinthians 13:1 (and some change)
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Colossians 3:14
And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

1 John 3:16
This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers.

1 John 4:18
There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

1 John 4:8
Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.

Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love: we certainly take that word for granted.

My conviction continues. If you are reading this... then I'm sure we are friends, maybe family... Can you remember the last time I told you that I love you? Have I ever?

So.. it comes to this.. the question echos again: Can a life be changed by a paragraph that I 'e-pen' here? By a sentence? A word?

Yes.

And that word is 'love'.

I love you.