...the "F" word again last night. For the 4th time since we've been together.
She's so trashy...
Monday, December 1, 2008
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
1 . Where did you meet? At an internet chat room for female chubby chasers.
2. How long did you date? We never dated. There was just a period that we were together that we were not married... we affectionately refer to that as "The Dark Ages"
3. How long have you been married? 408 days. (But who's counting...?)
4. What does she say that surprises you? The "F" word. She's said it 3 times since we've been together. They were all accidents, but she said it none-the-less... she's filthy.
5. What is your favorite feature of hers's?
• If we're being shallow: She's got a pretty sweet lil' rumpus. I like to refer to her as "Muffin Butt"...
• If we're being thoughtful: Her smile... seriously, she could melt a glacier (causing the world to be destroyed, as seen in the smash hit "The Day After Tomorrow") with that smile.
6. What is your favorite quality of hers's?
• Shallow: She's hot.
• Thoughtful: Her unbelievable heart. (You can read more here: http://anickeloradime.blogspot.com/2007/08/things-i-love.html)
7. Does she have a nickname for you? Mostly she just calls me 'Stud'. However she has never ONCE called me by my birth name, therefore every time that she has spoken to me, she's refer to me using a nickname.
8. What is her favorite color? Yellow
9. What is her favorite food? She's never met a food she didn't like. (although she's not a huge fan of chick peas, avacados, and raw onions...)
10. What is her favorite sport? Shopping.
11. When and where did you first kiss? When: One day... Where: On the lips.
12. What is your favorite thing to do as a couple? Hang out with our friends. (You can typically find us in the Buzzard's Nest)
13. Do you have any children? Well... we both believe that children are the future. That we should teach them well, and let them lead the way.. perhaps show them all the beauty they possess inside... maybe give them a sense of pride to make it easier... Basically: let the children's laughter remind us how it used to be...
In other words: no... not yet. But we want some of them though... I wanna teach 'em tricks.
14. Does she have a hidden talent? Yes... putting up with me.
15. How old is he? She turned 24 this past Nov. 11
16. Who said, “I love you” first? Probably Laura, as she is a couple years older than me. I was probably still in the womb when she was saying it.
17. What is her favorite type of music? Anything that I was involved with... ESPECIALLY the Seth Thomas Band (http://www.myspace.com/seththomasmusic)
18. What do you most admire about her? Didn't we already cover this? Or is this one of those crazy personality tests that asks you if you would steal from your company 25 times using different wording... the answer is 'yes'... get over it.
19. Do you think she will read this? I'll more than likely read it TO her... she thinks my voice is sexy (so does Carolyn Vecchio)... this is not surprising. As my voice is (much like the rest of me) QUITE sexy.
So, that's it kiddos... my monthly blog post. Enjoy.
S
2. How long did you date? We never dated. There was just a period that we were together that we were not married... we affectionately refer to that as "The Dark Ages"
3. How long have you been married? 408 days. (But who's counting...?)
4. What does she say that surprises you? The "F" word. She's said it 3 times since we've been together. They were all accidents, but she said it none-the-less... she's filthy.
5. What is your favorite feature of hers's?
• If we're being shallow: She's got a pretty sweet lil' rumpus. I like to refer to her as "Muffin Butt"...
• If we're being thoughtful: Her smile... seriously, she could melt a glacier (causing the world to be destroyed, as seen in the smash hit "The Day After Tomorrow") with that smile.
6. What is your favorite quality of hers's?
• Shallow: She's hot.
• Thoughtful: Her unbelievable heart. (You can read more here: http://anickeloradime.blogspot.com/2007/08/things-i-love.html)
7. Does she have a nickname for you? Mostly she just calls me 'Stud'. However she has never ONCE called me by my birth name, therefore every time that she has spoken to me, she's refer to me using a nickname.
8. What is her favorite color? Yellow
9. What is her favorite food? She's never met a food she didn't like. (although she's not a huge fan of chick peas, avacados, and raw onions...)
10. What is her favorite sport? Shopping.
11. When and where did you first kiss? When: One day... Where: On the lips.
12. What is your favorite thing to do as a couple? Hang out with our friends. (You can typically find us in the Buzzard's Nest)
13. Do you have any children? Well... we both believe that children are the future. That we should teach them well, and let them lead the way.. perhaps show them all the beauty they possess inside... maybe give them a sense of pride to make it easier... Basically: let the children's laughter remind us how it used to be...
In other words: no... not yet. But we want some of them though... I wanna teach 'em tricks.
14. Does she have a hidden talent? Yes... putting up with me.
15. How old is he? She turned 24 this past Nov. 11
16. Who said, “I love you” first? Probably Laura, as she is a couple years older than me. I was probably still in the womb when she was saying it.
17. What is her favorite type of music? Anything that I was involved with... ESPECIALLY the Seth Thomas Band (http://www.myspace.com/seththomasmusic)
18. What do you most admire about her? Didn't we already cover this? Or is this one of those crazy personality tests that asks you if you would steal from your company 25 times using different wording... the answer is 'yes'... get over it.
19. Do you think she will read this? I'll more than likely read it TO her... she thinks my voice is sexy (so does Carolyn Vecchio)... this is not surprising. As my voice is (much like the rest of me) QUITE sexy.
So, that's it kiddos... my monthly blog post. Enjoy.
S
Monday, September 8, 2008
Three Little Words...
As most of you may know: I, Slim Gillian, am a story teller.My life is crazy. The most insane things happen to me...
I like to recall these tales of my journeys to friends and strangers alike. This is why I talk a lot.
People, most of the time, assume that these simple narratives are but mere lies, exaggerations at best. While I must admit that there are some mildly embellished pieces to the puzzle of my life, I assure you that those elaborations are quite minimal.
I like telling stories.
I like captivating an audience, whether they be great in number, or simply the handful of people who read the ramblings that are my blog posts.
More than telling true stories, I love calling on my thespian training and creating stories on the fly.
I love it when a simple question is asked of me, and I can respond with a twisted tale of castles, dragons, hookers and the like.
I could simply lie: a nonchalant "yes" or "no", perhaps even a "maybe" here and there.
But what's the fun in that?
Sometimes it's not even important things. Consider this scenario:
My older brother, Brad (or as he is more affectionately known: The Bishop) and myself look nearly identical. Only a mere 11 months apart, an inch or two away in size, fairly close in weight and build... similar facial hair styling... some even say that we talk alike. Obviously, we're brothers.
Man: (to my brother and me) "Man, are you guys brothers!??!"
Me: "You would not believe how many times I've heard that..."
Man: "You must've heard it since you were kids!"
Me: "Yeah, not so much. Surprisingly we're not related. We started playing in a band together in Chicago back in 2003, and just kinda moved around together since. But we get that ALL the time."
You ask "Seriously!?"
"But why!?" you continue to think...
The answer?
The story.
This guy will now walk away... thinking "Man, I've known Brad for some time and he's never mentioned that he's from Chicago." or "Man, it's crazy.. they look JUST a like."
Now this may seem insignificant to you... but imagine my amusement. Not just in the immediate situation, but when I get a phone call from my elder sibling informing me that some guy is has been confused for days about some 'Chicago' story.
I laugh.
Now that was merely an example of an insignificant story... my tall tales are normally much more extravagant... much more elaborately decorated.
I've told some whoppers in my day....
Some have made people laugh...
...others cry...
Some weep...
Some have even made people questions everything they about me, themselves, and life in general.
I wont post those here. Primarily because you don't got that kinda time.
I'm sure that Laura wouldn't mind telling you some of the horror stories that I've put her through.
These are not simple stories... there's entire backgrounds for the story, its location and every character involved.
Why do I do it?
The sport.
If weaving tales of misguided youth, morbid obscenities and cows was an Olympic event, you could consider me Michael Phelps.. not just because of my witty talent, but rather my goods look and killer physique without a shirt on.
Anyway... I'm getting off subject here....
You know... the reason for this post...
Being that I'm a story teller, I like to put people on the spot. To see how they react when put into certain situations. To see if they tell the truth, see if they'll lie... maybe even see if they dare to tell a story.
Now, the point:
Today I had to pick my sweet wife up from work. We drove to the bank to drop of the daily deposit for her job, and promptly headed to Tijuana Flats for an early dinner.
I got the usual... so did she.
As is my typical fashion, I always ask the people taking our order if the cookies there are "fresh baked".
I know the answer to the question: "no".
In fact, they are purchased in... unwrapped... and put into NEW wrapping that reflects the branding of 'The Flats'.
Laura laughs at me ever time and asks why I ask the question.
But no amount of explanation will ever make non-story-tellers understand the concept.
Well, today at the 'Flats' I approached the portly fellow (we'll call him "Ol' Dude") on the other side of the counter (as I held a white chocolate chip cookie in my right hand up to my nose, to take in the odor of it's tender, goodness) and simply asked: "Do you freshly bake these?"
A question that I've asked dozens of times since LoBeth and I started dating.
Every time, I get the standard response "No. We actually buy them from a company and re-wrap them."
But not this time...
This time it was...
...different.
Ol' Dude calmly, bravely and confidently proclaimed three little words "Yes, we do!"
Laura's jaw dropped, however I played it cool. Seeing that he took the bait, I wanted to push him a little.
I held up another cookie and snuffed it like a fine summer wine.
"How 'bout these? You fresh bake these too?"
"Sure do!" his response.
"Hmmmm..." a simple noise was my retort.
I went on to ask "When do you bake them? In the morning? Night?"
"Every morning." he muttered.
"Wow... It must be tough to be in here when the cookies are baking... freshly?" I state.
"Oh man! It's the hardest part of my job!" he says.
I think to myself "Wow. He's a story teller... albeit a bad one... but a teller none-the-less".
Now that you've read the 833 words in the post (up to this point anyway... [yeah, I counted them]) you should be asking yourself "Why? Why such a long post for so little actual content?"
But for the story, of course.
And they all lived happily ever after,
The Slim
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
I got these cute comments the other day...
...on my "Mike Scott" blog post.
They're both pretty funny. I wish that my response could've been as funny.
Here it is, for your viewing pleasure.
Tee hee hee...
Little kids make me laugh. They're just so cute... Bill Cosby was right: Kids really DO say the darnedest things!
Especially when they try to talk like 'big boys' but aren't man enough to leave their contact information, or better yet: remain anonymous.
Since some people obviously need enlightenment, I will touch on those things covered in my these two comments.
I'll have to disregard the blatant lack of proper grammar, punctuation and capitalization in the comments from this young man or woman (I can only assume with back-to-back comments one minute apart they are from the same person)
"What a punk ass kid you are."
Punk Ass? Yes.
Kid? In the eyes of middle schoolers, not so much. In the eyes of war vets, retirees and my parents, totally.
"You are an idiot."
The famous philosopher was once quoted as saying "Stupid is, as stupid does." I'm certainly not the one posting half-witted, anonymous comments on people's blogs.
Plus, my IQ is in the low 170's... I've taken the MENSA test 3 times, and passed every time. Compare that with the national average IQ of 98, and the fact that you don't know what MENSA is, I'd say that I'm doing pretty good. But hey, what do I know? I mean, I'm only a genius and all...
"K-9 swat wanna be."
Duh. I think it was pretty obvious in the blog posting that I am, in fact, K-9 swat wanna be. Thanks for pointing out the obvious.
"You need to get back on your medication."
Sure. Lunesta is a BEAUTIFUL thing. Money is tight right now though... spare a couple bucks to get me back on my much needed meds?
"Maybe your lard ass..."
Evidently you didn't bother to read my other blog. You know, the one about my quest to lose weight.
That blog would tend to indicate that I already acknowledge the fact that I may or may not be on the 'heavy side'. Thanks, again, for pointing out the blatantly obvious.
"...would like to meet up with a true and honest officer."
If you have one to suggest, please do. Otherwise I'll just keep chit-chatting with the almost 2 dozen Lee and Collier police officers that I'm proud to call "friend" (including the great Sheriff Mike Scott).
"Just because you see a few signs around, you think you have all the answers, wrong you don't have a clue about what's going on."
Umm... okay. Good call. What was I thinking!? Thanks for opening my eyes.
"Get a life."
One like yours? I'm sure your life is pretty fabulous. Please, my email is slimwhitley@aol.com ... drop me a line... let me know how great your life is.
"Are you gay or what?"
If my options are:
A. Gay
B. What
I would have to go with "B. What". Unless you'd like me to be gay... because it seems as if you've got a 'thing' for me. I can't say that I blame you.. most men and woman find themselves instantly attracted to me. Join the club.
"You think Scott is sexy, you've got to be kidding."
Very good, I AM kidding! You picked up on the thing we grown-ups like to call "Humor". You're awesome.
"Looking at you're picture, I don't know how you even got a girl..."
If I'm such an eye-sore for you to look at, how's about you stop looking at my picture? Unless you're still hung up on your 'thing' for me. In which case, be my guest.
As far as how I got a girl:
Mostly luck. Large amounts of luck. The rest was just a little bit of class, wit, humor and fantastic hair.
"Maybe it's your sister."
I have two sisters, both are quite lovely girls. However, my wife is neither of them.
"Have you ever heard of contacts."
Seriously? That's the stab you try to take at me?
Do you walk up to everyone with glasses, call 'em "four-eyes" and ask them if they've "ever heard of contacts"? If not, I think you should. It'd be funny. I certainly hope that you will always be able to have your perfect vision that you must obviously have.
"And the peach fuzz you call a beard wow!"
A. Surprisingly it is not peach fuzz. If really is facial hair. It may LOOK like peach fuzz, but I assure you, what little bit there is, is indeed real hair.
B. That I call a beard?! I don't recall calling it a beard. I actually don't recall referring to it as anything.
C. If I WAS going to refer to my facial hair, I would certainly not call it a 'beard'. Mainly because it's not. I believe that the facial hair style that you were looking for was "Goatee". I have a goatee... not a beard.
D. I'm sorry that my hair is not as epic as yours is. Do you have any pointers for me?!
Well. Thank about concludes it. Hopefully this will help to make you understand a thing or two about me. Please feel free to email me your number, maybe address. I'd love to send you a thank you card or something.
Peace,
SLIM
They're both pretty funny. I wish that my response could've been as funny.Here it is, for your viewing pleasure.
Tee hee hee...
Little kids make me laugh. They're just so cute... Bill Cosby was right: Kids really DO say the darnedest things!
Especially when they try to talk like 'big boys' but aren't man enough to leave their contact information, or better yet: remain anonymous.
Since some people obviously need enlightenment, I will touch on those things covered in my these two comments.
I'll have to disregard the blatant lack of proper grammar, punctuation and capitalization in the comments from this young man or woman (I can only assume with back-to-back comments one minute apart they are from the same person)
"What a punk ass kid you are."
Punk Ass? Yes.
Kid? In the eyes of middle schoolers, not so much. In the eyes of war vets, retirees and my parents, totally.
"You are an idiot."
The famous philosopher was once quoted as saying "Stupid is, as stupid does." I'm certainly not the one posting half-witted, anonymous comments on people's blogs.
Plus, my IQ is in the low 170's... I've taken the MENSA test 3 times, and passed every time. Compare that with the national average IQ of 98, and the fact that you don't know what MENSA is, I'd say that I'm doing pretty good. But hey, what do I know? I mean, I'm only a genius and all...
"K-9 swat wanna be."
Duh. I think it was pretty obvious in the blog posting that I am, in fact, K-9 swat wanna be. Thanks for pointing out the obvious.
"You need to get back on your medication."
Sure. Lunesta is a BEAUTIFUL thing. Money is tight right now though... spare a couple bucks to get me back on my much needed meds?
"Maybe your lard ass..."
Evidently you didn't bother to read my other blog. You know, the one about my quest to lose weight.
That blog would tend to indicate that I already acknowledge the fact that I may or may not be on the 'heavy side'. Thanks, again, for pointing out the blatantly obvious.
"...would like to meet up with a true and honest officer."
If you have one to suggest, please do. Otherwise I'll just keep chit-chatting with the almost 2 dozen Lee and Collier police officers that I'm proud to call "friend" (including the great Sheriff Mike Scott).
"Just because you see a few signs around, you think you have all the answers, wrong you don't have a clue about what's going on."
Umm... okay. Good call. What was I thinking!? Thanks for opening my eyes.
"Get a life."
One like yours? I'm sure your life is pretty fabulous. Please, my email is slimwhitley@aol.com ... drop me a line... let me know how great your life is.
"Are you gay or what?"
If my options are:
A. Gay
B. What
I would have to go with "B. What". Unless you'd like me to be gay... because it seems as if you've got a 'thing' for me. I can't say that I blame you.. most men and woman find themselves instantly attracted to me. Join the club.
"You think Scott is sexy, you've got to be kidding."
Very good, I AM kidding! You picked up on the thing we grown-ups like to call "Humor". You're awesome.
"Looking at you're picture, I don't know how you even got a girl..."
If I'm such an eye-sore for you to look at, how's about you stop looking at my picture? Unless you're still hung up on your 'thing' for me. In which case, be my guest.
As far as how I got a girl:
Mostly luck. Large amounts of luck. The rest was just a little bit of class, wit, humor and fantastic hair.
"Maybe it's your sister."
I have two sisters, both are quite lovely girls. However, my wife is neither of them.
"Have you ever heard of contacts."
Seriously? That's the stab you try to take at me?
Do you walk up to everyone with glasses, call 'em "four-eyes" and ask them if they've "ever heard of contacts"? If not, I think you should. It'd be funny. I certainly hope that you will always be able to have your perfect vision that you must obviously have.
"And the peach fuzz you call a beard wow!"
A. Surprisingly it is not peach fuzz. If really is facial hair. It may LOOK like peach fuzz, but I assure you, what little bit there is, is indeed real hair.
B. That I call a beard?! I don't recall calling it a beard. I actually don't recall referring to it as anything.
C. If I WAS going to refer to my facial hair, I would certainly not call it a 'beard'. Mainly because it's not. I believe that the facial hair style that you were looking for was "Goatee". I have a goatee... not a beard.
D. I'm sorry that my hair is not as epic as yours is. Do you have any pointers for me?!
Well. Thank about concludes it. Hopefully this will help to make you understand a thing or two about me. Please feel free to email me your number, maybe address. I'd love to send you a thank you card or something.
Peace,
SLIM
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Satus Quo...
Those of you who know me, know that my life is, at most times, rather crazy.
Things always seems to happen at the worst times.
As the rest of my life has been, the future will be as well.
Yesterday, I was enjoying my first day of unemployment (man, how long has it been since you can say that you were jobless?!?)... wondering how in the world I was going to make things work in this step of faith that I've taken, knowing well that I don't have enough $$ to pay my bills this month...
I think it might've the thought in my head that distracted me from the fact that my car was on fire.
Yeah...
I was driving down 75, headed home from a recording session in Naples when my temperature gauge went from normal to overheating in about 15 seconds. I pulled over just past the Corkscrew exit and lifted up my hood to find enough flames to roast a pig on.
Now, the picture is not of my car, nor were the flames that high... I just put that in for dramatic effect...
With that being said, I believe that may have truly been the last hoorah with my car. So, if you could all keep your eyes out for a REALLY CHEAP vehicle... nothing nice.. just cheap, that would be great; as we had about $12 in the bank until the tow-truck got there and cost us $10 to tow.... So yeah... a $2 car... keep you eyes open for it...
Thanks for everything guys..
SLIM
Monday, July 7, 2008
The TOP TEN Reasons you should re-elect Mike Scott for Sheriff.
Driving around town the past few weeks I've started seeing the "Re-Elect Sheriff Mike Scott" signs popping up all across town.
These signs have inspired me to write this evenings post, on the Top Ten reasons that YOU should Re-Elect Mike Scott.
I've had to privilege of SEEING this man on multiple occasions, however have yet the honor of meeting him and shaking the hand that helps to keep my family safe at night.
Perhaps one day, the Sheriff will read this post and realize that I'm freakin' awesome, at which point he'll invite me to lunch, probably to P.F. Changs (because seriously.. the 'Hot Fish' there is MAGNIFICENT!). He'll then thank me for my part in keeping the streets of San Carlos safe with my commitment to watch the neighborhood and being a mentor the teens and children of SCP.
Naturally, he'll then finally present me with my Honorary Sheriffs Deputy Badge, which I don't believe happens that often with him... which makes the fact that I have one even more punk rock!
So now... without further ado: The Top Ten Reasons to Re-Elect Sheriff Mike Scott.
#1. Veinte (for those of you who aren't fluent in Spanish, like myself, that means '20') | The great Sheriff Dr. Mike Scott has been with the Lee County Sheriff's Office since 1988.
Let's just do the math here 2008 minus 1988 = 20 years.
TWENTY YEARS as a Lee County Police Officer. Not only does he have 20 years as a Lee County Officer under his belt (22 years in law enforcement), but he was born and raised here in good ol' Lee County as well. Seriously, who knows this place better than him!?!
#2. He's a total stud | Seriously, if I was single and he was single, and I was into dudes and he was into dudes: I'd totally make that happen. The scenario is eerily reminiscent of a washed-up music group....
#3. Zebra Stripe Uniforms | Sheriff Scott decided to change the uniforms of the inmates in our prison system to Zebra Stripe black and whites... Now, come on... That's just punk rock.
#4. His Campaign Manager is Primo | His Mother, Appie D'Alessandro Scott, runs the Sheriffs re-election campaign.
This is not a first for this beautiful lady, as she ran the campaign for his last election as well! Being somewhat of a momma's boy myself, I can relate to that sense of family. But more than that, I can relate to the willingness to see great potential in your "Sweet ol' mom" and being confident (and man) enough to step aside and let her do her thing!
#5. Can somebody say "Track Record"? | Yeah... read a paper... his record speaks for itself.
#6. Homeboy's a Christian | The popular old question... What Would Jesus Do?
The answer: vote for Mike Scott!
I was not quite aware, at first, that Dr. Scott was a Christian. I found out at the funeral of a sweet young boy, John E. Halgrim.
See, John Halgrim was a REMARKABLE young man, who at a very young age (early teens) changed the lives of THOUSANDS of people. John had cancer, and while bed-ridden had just one wish: to help save the lives of the kids in Kibera, Kenya, Africa. I had been to Kenya with an organization called "Help the Least of These" to do some filming in the slum of Kibera, Kenya.
I brought that footage back and had the opportunity to work on a video of John Halgrim... his plea for people to help him help others. (you can find the video here, if the video doesn't play, you can click the links below it the view it)
Shortly after making the video, John sadly passed away.
At his funeral, they showed the video that I had made for John and "HTLOT". I happened to be sitting directly behind Sheriff Scott. After the video, he leaned over the woman next to him (who I'm assuming to be his mother...?) and told her how amazing the video was. I was proud to be a part of John's ministry, just as I know Sheriff Scott was proud to be there for that service, and proud to present John's family with the "Do the Right Thing Award" in honor of their son.
It was later that I was able to share that story to my friend and business partner, JoNeal, when Joe was like "Dude.. you know that guys a super Christian!?!" Good. We need more people who be lovin' Jesus serving in offices in this country!
#7. It would mean that Rod Shoap and Christian Meister wouldn't be in office | Both are dorks... trust me.
Meister:
Shoap:
Not much is known about Christian Meister, but Rod Shoap is just a tool.
The instant turn off for me (of course, speaking as the owner of a marketing and design company) is Shoap's crap-hole website (www.rodshoap.com ... ego much!?) ... seriously dude, if you REALLY want to get re-elected after your joke of a run as Sheriff, you might want to get AT LEAST a DECENT, if not AWESOME website, without the crappy flash, cheesy picture, and HUGE "Give me all your money now" buttons all over the place...
Come to think of it, Mr. Meister (at least that's fun to say!) needs a spruce up as well, not-to-mention the title line (the bar at the VERY TOP of your web browsers screen) off his website (www.meisterforsheriff.com) reads: "Sheriff Scott employs criminally convicted officers, falsifies, discriminates" ... Seriously bro... the FIRST impression of you is whining and talking trash? What are you... French!? (Now, I LOVE the French, so if you're French, don't take that wrong... I only included that last remark for dramatic effect..)
You don't reach your hand out to shake another person in introduction, saying "Hey! My name is Slim, and I think this guy over here is a d-bag!" That's just not cool. They say that your first impression is your ONLY impression... Senior Meister's score: ZERO.
The funny thing: on Sheriff Scott's page (www.wewantmike.com) he bashes neither opponent, yet they both seem rather quick to talk out of their 'hind-quarters' about this He-Man.
(I must inform those of you who don't know me well, that I'm not typically one for 'talking smack', but both of these fellows after left such a bad taste in my mouth with their child-like antics... so please, don't judge me...)
#8. Two Words: Buh Dass | "Reputations are earned!" his website boasts...
...if that's true, this dude's earning a 6 figure reputation salary in my book! No, not a REAL salary, but a salary made up of illustrious "Cool Points". Cheesy... I know... but true. And that's not a "low-number" six-figures either... we're talking in the $800 thousands, AT LEAST...
#9. He's an Amazing Boss | I know, I know, I know... it sounds weird that I, being the OWNER of my business, would refer to the Good Sheriff as my "Boss"
I'll explain:
Since I've declared myself:
and my dog, "The Dude":
as "Self-Appointed Honorary San Carlos K-9 SWAT" (you know, for my superior skills in keeping my community safe and sound... read more on my community greatness on Laura's latest blog post here), I believe that makes Sheriff Dr. Mike Scott my "Self-Appointed Honorary Boss"... which would, in turn, make him the best boss that I've ever had.
I'm actually starting a petition to have the nickname "The Boss" stripped from Bruce Spingsteen (homo), and given to Scott... you know... the guy who actually deserves it! (you can read more about my distaste for ol' Brucy here)
Last, but CERTAINLY not least:
#10. He's got fantastic hair | I know it sounds weird.... you know, because he's bald and all...
But he's only bald because his actual hair invokes such awesomeness that is rivaled only by the beard of Chuck Norris (which is no surprise, being that Norris and Scott are fraternal twins)
I saw the Sheriff's full head of hair once... I was immediately blinded by it's awesomeness.
So there you have it, boys and girls... the OFFICIAL top ten list of why the Great Sheriff Mike Scott should be re-elected and of course, why you should vote for him.
Aight... me and my K-9 counterpart are off to hit the beat... Lock and load, ladies!
SLIM
Monday, June 30, 2008
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
10 Things... the addendum.
I've come to realize that in addition to my "10 Things" post, there are a couple other things that I'm currently loving that did not make it to my list amongst the more 'non-serious' ones.
11. Lego Star Wars for the Wii | Seriously, this game is epic.
In the latest make of it, it combines ALL 6 episodes into one jam-packed piece of awesomeness. With FOUR different modes of game play (which all must be completed in order to 'win' the game) with lots of hidden extras, coupled with an INCREDIBLE gaming interface with the Wii makes this game one of the greatest ever made!
12. Batter Blaster | That's right: Make a better breakfast faster... Batter Blaster.
I'd write more, but I wouldn't want anyone to think that Laura and I are competing on this front page worthy phenomenon. So, read all about it here, at Laura's blog.
So yeah... enjoy both of these pieces of goodness...
SLIM
11. Lego Star Wars for the Wii | Seriously, this game is epic.
In the latest make of it, it combines ALL 6 episodes into one jam-packed piece of awesomeness. With FOUR different modes of game play (which all must be completed in order to 'win' the game) with lots of hidden extras, coupled with an INCREDIBLE gaming interface with the Wii makes this game one of the greatest ever made!12. Batter Blaster | That's right: Make a better breakfast faster... Batter Blaster.
I'd write more, but I wouldn't want anyone to think that Laura and I are competing on this front page worthy phenomenon. So, read all about it here, at Laura's blog.So yeah... enjoy both of these pieces of goodness...
SLIM
Thursday, June 12, 2008
10 Things I'm Lovin' Right Now...
(in no particular order)
1. Wine | I’ve often had a glass of wine with dinner. It was always good. However recently, I’ve discovered that in the correct time and quantity, the maximum ‘holy buzz’ is achieved.
Now, I’m not sure if the ‘holy buzz’ actually exists, perhaps that’s a question for ‘Prodigal John’, the author of stuffchristianslike.net, but in MY head the ‘holy buzz’ is that moment of alcoholic trippiness that brushes the border of drunkenness… which by ‘Biblical Law’ does not constitute as ‘drunk’. (See also: TIPSY, FADED,)
2. Dudetians | Believe it or not, in a galaxy far, far away (Woopsy… did I steal that line!?) there exists a planet known as “Duditer” (sounds suspiciously like “Jupiter”) where the inhabitants are all exact replicas (except for their distinct aqua-marine color… duh… everyone knows that) of my dog, Dude. These crazy animals, with ball-topped antenna on their craniums (think pom-pom), are known simply as “Dudetians”.
During a trip to the planet Duditer, I was able to capture this picture of the King of the Dudetians. Know only as: El Hombre.
3. Dudes Night Out | Or DNO, if you ask all of the TVs, microwaves, lamps, computers, soda cans, wine bottles, glass windows, mirrors, and paint cans that have recently been blown up by the Dudes of Dudes Night Out at our two most recent get togethers (and if you ACTUALLY ask them, you might need to look into professional help...). These were both long days full of a bunch of dudes and WAY too many, unnecessary firearms.
Dudes Night Out – the concept is simple… you leave the ladies at home… and the DUDES go OUT … at NIGHT (or sometimes during the DAY… but that would read: DDO, which is too much like ‘Dido’ …. And who would listen to that garbage? “You know how I know you’re gay? You listen to Dido.”)
We’ve even gone so far as to secure the web domain for DNO: www.dudesnightout.com. Yeah… evidently we’ve got that kinda time.
4. TAPCO AK Furniture | Of course, the last one opened the door right up for this one. I recently outfitted my AK-47 with this new furniture set (minus the stupid see-through mag. “You know how I know you’re gay? You’ve got stupid see-through mags on your AK.”) from TAPCO U.S.A.:
Not only does it fit perfectly, but it looks AWESOME. Shoots like a dream too. You know… not that that really matters…
5. Ant Bites | Yeah… just kidding.
6. Alex Cuba | I’m not sure if you’re “into” Latin music, or ‘Musica Latina’ as our Spanish-speaking friends would say, but you’ve GOT to check out Alex Cuba’s latest (and sophomore) album: Agua del Pozo. It’s a little hard to find in the store or online, but is, of course, readily available on iTunes.
EVEN IF YOU DON’T SPEAK SPANISH: buy it. Music is the universal language (along with money… and hugs. Both of which I’m in need of)
7. “FLASH” Shirts from [db]B | As most of you know, I’m a MASSIVE fan of the Dustin Burke Band (myspace.com/dustinburkeband). After a couple trips to their hometown of Dayton, OH and many conversations, my company (SLIM|LINE Visual Communications, www.slimlinedotcom.com) has become the exclusive Marketing & Merchandising company of the Dustin Burke Band.
We recently did these shirts as a joke for the guitar player, Flash Burke.
They make me laugh every time I see them.
8. My Mothers Alfredo | My mother is not Italian. Not even close, actually. She’s a lil’ Irish woman from the South of the US. She’s the best cook on the planet, especially when it comes to Southern food. Italian food was never plentiful in our house. I mean, outside of spaghetti and the occasional lasagna, we never really had homemade Italian.
Well, recently my mother tried her hand at an Alfredo pasta… something that she’s never done…
Blew me away! Seriously… my mom is amazing.
I had to look up the origin of Alfredo sauce… here it is:
So, there was this one guy, right!? His name was Alfred. He was kind of a nerd, so a lot of people in their town didn’t really know him all that well.
So anyway, right, he was making a sauce. Alfred’s sauce… if you will.
He let some of his buddies try it, right, and they were all “ Dude… this John’s is banging, son!”
They started to make it in larger batches and sell it in the town market. People would always be all “Yo, what is this sauce!?!?” and the merchants would be all “Oh, that dude Alfred makes this sauce.” And the consumers were all “Who?”
“Alfred.”
“Who?”
“You know, that dude Alfred… he lives up the hill.”
“Hmmm… Alfred… Alfred… Alfred..”
“You know! The dude with he crazy thick glasses and talks to himself all the time!?”
“Hmmm….”
“Seriously! You know the dude in math class back in middle school who ate grasshoppers for money!?”
“AHHHHH…. ALFRED, OH!”
From that point forward, the sauce was known as Alfred-Oh sauce… however, when it was brought to the states, they changed the name of it at Ellis Island… you know… to make it sound more American or something.
(long way to go for a bad joke… I know.)
9. Men | Yeah okay… we all know this isn’t new… I totally love dudes.
10. BBQ Chicken Chopped Salad from CPK | Srsly! This delectable piece of heaven should been called the ‘BBQ Shiznit Chopped Salad’ because for real… it’s the shiznit.
For those of you who would like to make your own, here’s the best recipe for it (with some minor changes to make it even better) from my friend, Julie, at momswhocook.blogspot.com:
2 chicken breast cooked and chopped
1 bunch romaine, 1 head iceberg chopped
1 c. jack cheese grated
1/2 to 1 can black beans drained and rinsed
1/2 to 1 can corn (optional)
1/2 c. chopped red onion
chopped cilantro to taste
chopped tomatoes
chopped cucumber (optional)
jicama (optional)
tortilla chips
Bulls eye BBQ sauce
Ranch
limes
Cook chicken and cover in bulls eye bbq sauce. Chop and toss the rest of the ingredients. Toss with the ranch dressing, crush chips, squeeze lime, and drizzle BBQ sauce on top right before serving. I like mine, drenched in BBQ sauce and lime!
Make it. Now.
So, ladies and gents… this concludes the “10 Things I’m Loving Right Now” thread on my blog. The ‘challenge’ in this post is to pick 10 things that aren’t things that you’ve loved all your life, and are not your family, close friends, etc.
They say this is really hard. I found it pretty easy. But I digress…
Mad Love,
The Slim One
1. Wine | I’ve often had a glass of wine with dinner. It was always good. However recently, I’ve discovered that in the correct time and quantity, the maximum ‘holy buzz’ is achieved.
Now, I’m not sure if the ‘holy buzz’ actually exists, perhaps that’s a question for ‘Prodigal John’, the author of stuffchristianslike.net, but in MY head the ‘holy buzz’ is that moment of alcoholic trippiness that brushes the border of drunkenness… which by ‘Biblical Law’ does not constitute as ‘drunk’. (See also: TIPSY, FADED,)
2. Dudetians | Believe it or not, in a galaxy far, far away (Woopsy… did I steal that line!?) there exists a planet known as “Duditer” (sounds suspiciously like “Jupiter”) where the inhabitants are all exact replicas (except for their distinct aqua-marine color… duh… everyone knows that) of my dog, Dude. These crazy animals, with ball-topped antenna on their craniums (think pom-pom), are known simply as “Dudetians”.
During a trip to the planet Duditer, I was able to capture this picture of the King of the Dudetians. Know only as: El Hombre.
3. Dudes Night Out | Or DNO, if you ask all of the TVs, microwaves, lamps, computers, soda cans, wine bottles, glass windows, mirrors, and paint cans that have recently been blown up by the Dudes of Dudes Night Out at our two most recent get togethers (and if you ACTUALLY ask them, you might need to look into professional help...). These were both long days full of a bunch of dudes and WAY too many, unnecessary firearms.
Dudes Night Out – the concept is simple… you leave the ladies at home… and the DUDES go OUT … at NIGHT (or sometimes during the DAY… but that would read: DDO, which is too much like ‘Dido’ …. And who would listen to that garbage? “You know how I know you’re gay? You listen to Dido.”)
We’ve even gone so far as to secure the web domain for DNO: www.dudesnightout.com. Yeah… evidently we’ve got that kinda time.
4. TAPCO AK Furniture | Of course, the last one opened the door right up for this one. I recently outfitted my AK-47 with this new furniture set (minus the stupid see-through mag. “You know how I know you’re gay? You’ve got stupid see-through mags on your AK.”) from TAPCO U.S.A.:
Not only does it fit perfectly, but it looks AWESOME. Shoots like a dream too. You know… not that that really matters…
5. Ant Bites | Yeah… just kidding.
6. Alex Cuba | I’m not sure if you’re “into” Latin music, or ‘Musica Latina’ as our Spanish-speaking friends would say, but you’ve GOT to check out Alex Cuba’s latest (and sophomore) album: Agua del Pozo. It’s a little hard to find in the store or online, but is, of course, readily available on iTunes.
EVEN IF YOU DON’T SPEAK SPANISH: buy it. Music is the universal language (along with money… and hugs. Both of which I’m in need of)
7. “FLASH” Shirts from [db]B | As most of you know, I’m a MASSIVE fan of the Dustin Burke Band (myspace.com/dustinburkeband). After a couple trips to their hometown of Dayton, OH and many conversations, my company (SLIM|LINE Visual Communications, www.slimlinedotcom.com) has become the exclusive Marketing & Merchandising company of the Dustin Burke Band.
We recently did these shirts as a joke for the guitar player, Flash Burke.
They make me laugh every time I see them.8. My Mothers Alfredo | My mother is not Italian. Not even close, actually. She’s a lil’ Irish woman from the South of the US. She’s the best cook on the planet, especially when it comes to Southern food. Italian food was never plentiful in our house. I mean, outside of spaghetti and the occasional lasagna, we never really had homemade Italian.
Well, recently my mother tried her hand at an Alfredo pasta… something that she’s never done…
Blew me away! Seriously… my mom is amazing.
I had to look up the origin of Alfredo sauce… here it is:
So, there was this one guy, right!? His name was Alfred. He was kind of a nerd, so a lot of people in their town didn’t really know him all that well.
So anyway, right, he was making a sauce. Alfred’s sauce… if you will.
He let some of his buddies try it, right, and they were all “ Dude… this John’s is banging, son!”
They started to make it in larger batches and sell it in the town market. People would always be all “Yo, what is this sauce!?!?” and the merchants would be all “Oh, that dude Alfred makes this sauce.” And the consumers were all “Who?”
“Alfred.”
“Who?”
“You know, that dude Alfred… he lives up the hill.”
“Hmmm… Alfred… Alfred… Alfred..”
“You know! The dude with he crazy thick glasses and talks to himself all the time!?”
“Hmmm….”
“Seriously! You know the dude in math class back in middle school who ate grasshoppers for money!?”
“AHHHHH…. ALFRED, OH!”
From that point forward, the sauce was known as Alfred-Oh sauce… however, when it was brought to the states, they changed the name of it at Ellis Island… you know… to make it sound more American or something.
(long way to go for a bad joke… I know.)
9. Men | Yeah okay… we all know this isn’t new… I totally love dudes.
10. BBQ Chicken Chopped Salad from CPK | Srsly! This delectable piece of heaven should been called the ‘BBQ Shiznit Chopped Salad’ because for real… it’s the shiznit.
For those of you who would like to make your own, here’s the best recipe for it (with some minor changes to make it even better) from my friend, Julie, at momswhocook.blogspot.com:
2 chicken breast cooked and chopped
1 bunch romaine, 1 head iceberg chopped
1 c. jack cheese grated
1/2 to 1 can black beans drained and rinsed
1/2 to 1 can corn (optional)
1/2 c. chopped red onion
chopped cilantro to taste
chopped tomatoes
chopped cucumber (optional)
jicama (optional)
tortilla chips
Bulls eye BBQ sauce
Ranch
limes
Cook chicken and cover in bulls eye bbq sauce. Chop and toss the rest of the ingredients. Toss with the ranch dressing, crush chips, squeeze lime, and drizzle BBQ sauce on top right before serving. I like mine, drenched in BBQ sauce and lime!
Make it. Now.
So, ladies and gents… this concludes the “10 Things I’m Loving Right Now” thread on my blog. The ‘challenge’ in this post is to pick 10 things that aren’t things that you’ve loved all your life, and are not your family, close friends, etc.
They say this is really hard. I found it pretty easy. But I digress…
Mad Love,
The Slim One
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Ants...
...they ate me.........ate me good.....
But seriously... I recently made some invites to give to Laura for an upcoming suiree. Now, if you know me, you know that I'm not good with that whole "remembering stuff" thing.... so needless to say, I was rather impressed with myself for bringing them home! Not to mention, I also remembered to bring home two Tupperware (not actual Tupperware, it's the off brand... you know... 'cause we're cheap....) that had been sitting in my office.
Well... naturally, I didn't remember to bring all of the stuff into my house.
Laura woke me this morning, asking where the invites were so that they could be cut a distributed accordingly. In my attempt to be chivalrous, I decided to roll out of bed (take a squeege) toss some shorts on (ewwwww...) and retrieve said forgotten items..
I should've worn waiters and galoshes , evidently...
Much to my surprise (which really shouldn't have surprised me at all) after opening my passenger door and filling my hands with the goods, I found myself in an immense amount of pain... generally in my footular region.
I looked down at my feet (insert fat joke here) to see them covered in roughly 1.3 billion ants. They proceeded to eat my feet, paying special attention to my right foot. (see below)
Due to the fact that my hands were full, and throwing my wifes invitations on the wet ground was not an option, I had to take it like a man, and leave the flesh eating terrors on my feet until I got in the house... at which point, I cried like a school girl.That's my morning. It's a WONDERFUL start to my day...
(be on the look out for "The Slim-One Presents: '10 Things I'm Loving Right Now'" coming soon!)
Friday, June 6, 2008
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
The quick run-down...
...I'm still fat... REALLY fat.
...My zipper still falls down... REALLY down.
...I still suck at blogging... REALLY suck at blogging.
...I still can't play bagpipes... REALLY can't play.
...You CAN still get my updates by following the directions below... REALLY follow directions below.
Eh... it is what it is.
...My zipper still falls down... REALLY down.
...I still suck at blogging... REALLY suck at blogging.
...I still can't play bagpipes... REALLY can't play.
...You CAN still get my updates by following the directions below... REALLY follow directions below.
Eh... it is what it is.
Monday, March 10, 2008
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Not that I REALLY have that much going on...
BUT... you can know easily follow what I'm doing...
Simply text: follow theslim
To: 40404
And you'll automatically be updated on things in my life.
Do it...
S
Simply text: follow theslim
To: 40404
And you'll automatically be updated on things in my life.
Do it...
S
Monday, February 11, 2008
Of Zippers and Bagpipes...
So... I realized something I already knew.Ever had one of those moments? You know, where you know something but are in a constant state of denile about it?
Yeah, that was me today.
My favorite pair of shorts has recently suffered some trauma in the crotch regin (NOT WHAT YOU THINK! {sorry to any kids that may read this}) ... for some reason, my zipper has decided that I has become afraid of heights, or perhaps has been practicing the swan dive while I wasn't looking.... er... not that I stare at my zipper a lot... 'cause that would be creepy........
Anyway... it got me thinking about different ways that you could mention that someones (or your own!) fly is down:
• You've got Windows on your laptop.
• You need to bring your tray table to the upright and locked position.
• Your pod bay door is open, Hal.
• Ensign Hanes is reporting a hull breach on the lower deck, Sir!
• The Buick is not all the way in the garage.
• Our next guest is someone who needs no introduction...
• What!? You can't afford air conditioning!?!
• I always knew you were crazy, but now I can see ya nuts.
• There's a gap in your defensive perimeter.
Yeah... sorry... when boredom grips me... it grips me good!
ON A SIDE NOTE:
I started bagpipe lessons today. Yay! My goal, of course, is to carry the celtic family heritage and perhaps having something rather unique hobby to pass along to my kids. BUT ultimately, it's to work my way up to this guy.... 'cause he's cool.
A brief look at the pipes recent history:
During the expansion of the British Empire, spearheaded by British military forces which included Highland regiments, the Great Highland Bagpipe was diffused and has become well-known world-wide. This surge in popularity was boosted by large numbers of pipers trained for military service in the two World Wars. The surge coincided with a decline in the popularity of many traditional forms of bagpipe throughout Europe, which began to be displaced by instruments from the classical tradition and later by gramophone and radio. Police forces in Scotland, Canada, Australia and the USA (although not as commonly widespread) have also formed pipe bands. The Tayside Police Pipe band, still in existence, was founded in 1905. In the United Kingdom and Commonwealth Nations such as Canada and New Zealand, the bagpipe is commonly used in the military and is often played in formal ceremonies. Foreign militaries patterned after the British Army have also taken the Highland bagpipe into use, including but not restricted to Uganda, Pakistan, and Oman, effectively spreading official military use to Africa, Asia and the Middle East, respectively.
In the modern era the use of bagpipes has become a common tradition for military and police funerals and memorials in the anglophone world, and they are often used at the funerals of high-ranking civilian public officials as well. Weddings, dances and parties are also venues for piping.
In more recent years, often driven by revivals of native folk music and dance, many types of bagpipes have resurged in popularity, and in many cases instruments that were on the brink of extinction have become extremely popular. In Brittany, the concept of the pipe band was adopted, the Great Highland Bagpipe was brought in and the bagad was created, a showcase ensemble for Breton folk music. The pipe band idiom has also been adopted in Spain where various types of band are popular.
Who knew, huh?
Anyway... wish me luck as I venture into the HARDEST instrument I've ever been around!
Amani,
SLIM
Friday, February 1, 2008
Dudes night out...
...some times you just need 'em.
I think that I will try to throw together a last minute dudes night out for tomorrow night (which is actually TONIGHT, as it's 1:30am..) should be fun.
Man.. you would think I have more to write...
Maybe I'll post some DNO pictures and stories... but then again: What happens at DNO stays at DNO....
S
I think that I will try to throw together a last minute dudes night out for tomorrow night (which is actually TONIGHT, as it's 1:30am..) should be fun.
Man.. you would think I have more to write...
Maybe I'll post some DNO pictures and stories... but then again: What happens at DNO stays at DNO....
S
Thursday, January 31, 2008
I wish that I had...
...faith.
I'm surrounded by people of 'faith', yet I constantly struggle to figure out what that actually looks like.
I struggle, becuase I've never seen inside the United States. I only first saw it when I arrived in Kenya last summer.
You can read more about it in my earlier blogs.
I saw hope. I saw trust. Joy. Happiness... but most of all I saw faith. These peoeple, dispite having nothing and nothing to live for, they find Christ in EVERY situation. It was border-line sickening.
Now don't get me wrong, I'm proud to be an American (where at least I know I'm free, and I wont forget the men who died to give that right to meeeee... and I'll gladly (pause) stand UP next to you and defend her still today. ‘Cause there ain’t no doubt I love this land, God bless the USA) but sadly we must face that we live in a Godless country. Not that he's not here, but that we don't choose to acknowledge him.
Sure some of us do (myself certainly not included) but corporatly, as a nation, we don't.
As many of you know, I've been struggling with a lot of things lately. Struggling with my job, my brain, my calling, the list could go on and on... surprisingly, I was cheered up today by an e-mail that otherwise wouldn't be so cheery.
This is from world-renown photographer, Bobby Pal. (I'll post some of his pictures here one day)
Bobby lives in Kenya, but is often employed by governments to do photography work. He sent me this e-mail today:
"hey slim my bro
how are you
thought of you today as i was having my devotions
im still in france
but im sad about what is happening
we pray in all this Jesus would be seen
we need you prayers and pls tell as many people as you can to pray for kenya
your brother
bobby"
Despite all the fighting and such going on in Kenya (which thankfully he's not directly in the middle of) Bobby is able to look past it, put HIS feelings about his country, government, and well being aside to seek out God through it.
Bobby gives me hope.
I hope that I can keep it...
Please, pray for Bobby... for Kenya... Africa... the world... and me.
SLIM
I'm surrounded by people of 'faith', yet I constantly struggle to figure out what that actually looks like.
I struggle, becuase I've never seen inside the United States. I only first saw it when I arrived in Kenya last summer.
You can read more about it in my earlier blogs.
I saw hope. I saw trust. Joy. Happiness... but most of all I saw faith. These peoeple, dispite having nothing and nothing to live for, they find Christ in EVERY situation. It was border-line sickening.
Now don't get me wrong, I'm proud to be an American (where at least I know I'm free, and I wont forget the men who died to give that right to meeeee... and I'll gladly (pause) stand UP next to you and defend her still today. ‘Cause there ain’t no doubt I love this land, God bless the USA) but sadly we must face that we live in a Godless country. Not that he's not here, but that we don't choose to acknowledge him.
Sure some of us do (myself certainly not included) but corporatly, as a nation, we don't.
As many of you know, I've been struggling with a lot of things lately. Struggling with my job, my brain, my calling, the list could go on and on... surprisingly, I was cheered up today by an e-mail that otherwise wouldn't be so cheery.
This is from world-renown photographer, Bobby Pal. (I'll post some of his pictures here one day)
Bobby lives in Kenya, but is often employed by governments to do photography work. He sent me this e-mail today:
"hey slim my bro
how are you
thought of you today as i was having my devotions
im still in france
but im sad about what is happening
we pray in all this Jesus would be seen
we need you prayers and pls tell as many people as you can to pray for kenya
your brother
bobby"
Despite all the fighting and such going on in Kenya (which thankfully he's not directly in the middle of) Bobby is able to look past it, put HIS feelings about his country, government, and well being aside to seek out God through it.
Bobby gives me hope.
I hope that I can keep it...
Please, pray for Bobby... for Kenya... Africa... the world... and me.
SLIM
Thursday, January 17, 2008
The heart of worship...
...is a song that I'm not entirely thrilled about.
Random.
I know.
A song I seemed to have lost interest in through the years, probably due to the fact that since '99 (when the tune came out) until now, I've played the song roughly 1,299,384,583,598,324,256,776,209.25 times.
But...
Due to recent events, the words of this semi-sacred worship classic ring true.
I'll give you the quick run down:
They say that your first Christmas as a married couple is the most memorable. I would agree.
Our First Christmas weekend started a little like this.... I knew that I would be playing with 'Grey No More' at a camp in Alva, FL from the Wednesday after Crimma to the following Sunday, so I packed up all of my gear to get it out of the way (one less thing to worry about when we got home.)
I decided that we should leave my guitars and amps at my folks house, just to be safe. So we packed up the presents for my family and headed to their house.
We dropped off the presents the my parents house and randomly got into conversation with the f-a-m... after a while we realized that we had lost track of time and were going to be late to a hockey game with some friends (FL Everblades vs. Columba Inferno... we won... and by 'we' I mean the Inferno... don't get me wrong, I love the Blades, but theys gots nothin on my Inferno!) so we dipped out..
As we started to leave, mom reminded me that we had not dropped the gear off!
"I'll either drop it off in the morning, or just leave it in my garage..." I said "....no big deal!" I casually mumbled.
We headed off to the game, and made it back home around Midnight.
I was on the other side of the house when I hear what sounded like a mass quantitiy of glass shattering, followed by a gentle, but sad "Help..."
Without hesitation (after a couple moments) I ran (walked briskly, anyway) through the cribble to find the Crimma Tree on the floor and a few dozen glass and porcelain ornaments strewn across our tile floor in a broken mess...
"No big deal..." the thought rang through my cranium once again.
After about an hour of sweeping and fighting the dog off, we were able to get the last of it picked up, at which time Laura and I went to the room and passed out.
I woke up early Saturday (before Crimma) remembering that my gear was in my car, and was preparing myself to clean it all out to head to O-Town for Crimma with The Macks.
As the garage door began to open...
Slowly...
I saw that my rear passenger door was open.
For some reason, the garage door now started to open MUCH, MUCH slower... as if the whole world began to hold it's breath..
It continued to open to reveal that my trunk too, was ajar.
To my dismay I found that I had 4 guitars, 2 amps, and roughly $900 worth of microphones jacked from my A-B Ride...
Sad.
I know.
Tell me about it!
I thought again: "No big deal..."
What seemed, at the time, to be a small issue turned into a train wreck. I waited for the police report to clear that Thursday and on called my {INSERT LARGE NATIONAL INSURANCE COMPANY NAME HERE} agent to break him the good news... Turns out I had no insurance, and my renters could only cover $1000 of the close to $15,000 loss.
Sadder.
I knower.
Tell me more-er about it!
It was in this moment that God began knocking at my door.
I had been feeling for a while that God was trying to get my attention. It was pretty much unmistakable at this point.
I wrestled with the thought that I just wasn't meant to play music.
"Is this true?" I had to ask myself.
"Did God take me this far, just to drop me off?" I continued...
"God, am I NOT supposed to be doing this?" I couldn't help but ask.
I asked this question for a couple of days. After which point God seemed to deliver the metaphorical 'back-hand', stating that "...if I didn't need you to do this, I wouldn't have left you with one guitar!"
It made sense.
Out of all the gear they was pilfered from me, they left the ONLY guitar really worth taking: 1981 Les Paul.
It seemed as if Mr. Redman had penned that tune just for me. For once in my life all really HAD BEEN stripped away from me.
I had no choice. I HAD to come to God... empty-handed... humbled... completely dependent on God.
God began to speak to me about worship. Not singing at church on Sunday... but WORSHIP. What it meant to glorify God in EVERYTHING that I do. In my realtionship with my wife... my family... my friends... even my dog!
In the way I do my job... talk to strangers... watch TV...
"WORSHIP ME!" God seemed to bellow from somewhere in the clouds.
I decided to leave 'Grey No More' that week. I would then follow suit and leave the Summit Worship Band as well... for a while anyway.
God seemed to pull me off the 'stage' saying how He didn't need me to be up there if I wasn't going to LEAD people, not just with music, but with MY LIFE.
I began to fast and pray about my life... my roll in worship... what I'm supposed to do with this little bit talent, large imagination, and new-found education.
I'm still not sure what it is... but I feel closer to it... we'll see what the future holds.
Please pray for me.
Amani,
SLIM
p.s. Looks like {INSERT LARGE NATIONAL INSURANCE COMPANY NAME HERE} is going to pay for the boggarted equipment after all! SUCKERS!!
Random.
I know.
A song I seemed to have lost interest in through the years, probably due to the fact that since '99 (when the tune came out) until now, I've played the song roughly 1,299,384,583,598,324,256,776,209.25 times.
But...
Due to recent events, the words of this semi-sacred worship classic ring true.
I'll give you the quick run down:
They say that your first Christmas as a married couple is the most memorable. I would agree.
Our First Christmas weekend started a little like this.... I knew that I would be playing with 'Grey No More' at a camp in Alva, FL from the Wednesday after Crimma to the following Sunday, so I packed up all of my gear to get it out of the way (one less thing to worry about when we got home.)
I decided that we should leave my guitars and amps at my folks house, just to be safe. So we packed up the presents for my family and headed to their house.
We dropped off the presents the my parents house and randomly got into conversation with the f-a-m... after a while we realized that we had lost track of time and were going to be late to a hockey game with some friends (FL Everblades vs. Columba Inferno... we won... and by 'we' I mean the Inferno... don't get me wrong, I love the Blades, but theys gots nothin on my Inferno!) so we dipped out..
As we started to leave, mom reminded me that we had not dropped the gear off!
"I'll either drop it off in the morning, or just leave it in my garage..." I said "....no big deal!" I casually mumbled.
We headed off to the game, and made it back home around Midnight.
I was on the other side of the house when I hear what sounded like a mass quantitiy of glass shattering, followed by a gentle, but sad "Help..."
Without hesitation (after a couple moments) I ran (walked briskly, anyway) through the cribble to find the Crimma Tree on the floor and a few dozen glass and porcelain ornaments strewn across our tile floor in a broken mess...
"No big deal..." the thought rang through my cranium once again.
After about an hour of sweeping and fighting the dog off, we were able to get the last of it picked up, at which time Laura and I went to the room and passed out.
I woke up early Saturday (before Crimma) remembering that my gear was in my car, and was preparing myself to clean it all out to head to O-Town for Crimma with The Macks.
As the garage door began to open...
Slowly...
I saw that my rear passenger door was open.
For some reason, the garage door now started to open MUCH, MUCH slower... as if the whole world began to hold it's breath..
It continued to open to reveal that my trunk too, was ajar.
To my dismay I found that I had 4 guitars, 2 amps, and roughly $900 worth of microphones jacked from my A-B Ride...
Sad.
I know.
Tell me about it!
I thought again: "No big deal..."
What seemed, at the time, to be a small issue turned into a train wreck. I waited for the police report to clear that Thursday and on called my {INSERT LARGE NATIONAL INSURANCE COMPANY NAME HERE} agent to break him the good news... Turns out I had no insurance, and my renters could only cover $1000 of the close to $15,000 loss.
Sadder.
I knower.
Tell me more-er about it!
It was in this moment that God began knocking at my door.
I had been feeling for a while that God was trying to get my attention. It was pretty much unmistakable at this point.
I wrestled with the thought that I just wasn't meant to play music.
"Is this true?" I had to ask myself.
"Did God take me this far, just to drop me off?" I continued...
"God, am I NOT supposed to be doing this?" I couldn't help but ask.
I asked this question for a couple of days. After which point God seemed to deliver the metaphorical 'back-hand', stating that "...if I didn't need you to do this, I wouldn't have left you with one guitar!"
It made sense.
Out of all the gear they was pilfered from me, they left the ONLY guitar really worth taking: 1981 Les Paul.
It seemed as if Mr. Redman had penned that tune just for me. For once in my life all really HAD BEEN stripped away from me.
I had no choice. I HAD to come to God... empty-handed... humbled... completely dependent on God.
God began to speak to me about worship. Not singing at church on Sunday... but WORSHIP. What it meant to glorify God in EVERYTHING that I do. In my realtionship with my wife... my family... my friends... even my dog!
In the way I do my job... talk to strangers... watch TV...
"WORSHIP ME!" God seemed to bellow from somewhere in the clouds.
I decided to leave 'Grey No More' that week. I would then follow suit and leave the Summit Worship Band as well... for a while anyway.
God seemed to pull me off the 'stage' saying how He didn't need me to be up there if I wasn't going to LEAD people, not just with music, but with MY LIFE.
I began to fast and pray about my life... my roll in worship... what I'm supposed to do with this little bit talent, large imagination, and new-found education.
I'm still not sure what it is... but I feel closer to it... we'll see what the future holds.
Please pray for me.
Amani,
SLIM
p.s. Looks like {INSERT LARGE NATIONAL INSURANCE COMPANY NAME HERE} is going to pay for the boggarted equipment after all! SUCKERS!!
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
If there is only ONE THING that you would ever do for me...
...do it for the family if "Momma Jill" Whitlock.
Most of you who know me, are also familiar with one, more, or all of the Whitlock brothers: Jacob "Kubby" Whitlock, Jonathan "Jables" Whitlock, and Jesse "Big Sammitch" Whitlock.
Three invaluable friends of mine, who had one of the most precious mothers: Momma Jill.
Rather unexpectadly, Momma Jill passed away last Saturday. She had never been (as long as I had known her anyway) in incredible health, but she certainly hadn't been in any life-threatening danger.
After suffering a stroke in BOTH sides of her brain, the day after Christmas, she spent the remainder of the week in a coma until God took her home come the weekend.
Jill Marie Whitlock
Mother, Teacher, Follower of God
1950-2007
When Momma Jill left us, she left behind a legacy in her children, and BOATLOADS of stories and memories that will be cherished for the rest of our lives. Sadly, she also left behind the financial responsibility of her funeral costs to these three young men.
It is now OUR responsibility as friends (and family) of the Whitlock bros. and as DECENT HUMAN BEINGS to help aid our mates!
There is a day long (1pm-6pm) fundraising event that will be going on THIS SUNDAY, January 6th, at FOREVER TATTOO in Ft. Myers:
15560 McGregor blvd. suite 10
Fort Myers, FL. 33908
phone number to the shop is 239.415.4387
Mark Stewart, the owner of Forever Tattoo and friend of mine, Bishop, and the Whitlock family, is opening his shop for this event... They will be raffling two $100 gift certificates for Tattoos, at only $5 for a ticket, I'm sure that we could all afford 3, 4, even 5 of these tickets. Please remember that you're not investing in tattoos.. your investing the memory of this amazing woman.
Along with the raffle there will be art (from some of the GREATEST local artists) for sale and a bake sale (and seriously... who doesn't enjoy a good brownie at the local bake sale!?!) REMEMBER: 100% of the days sales go STRAIGHT to help Momma Jill and her family with funeral costs, etc. EVERY CENT!
And if all of that wasn't enough to get you in the door: there will also be some surprises at the event, which will remain nameless at this time... but trust me: YOU DO NOT WANT TO MISS IT!!
The approximate cost for the cremation is $2,500 (on the low end) plus the memorial costs, etc. So please, if not for Momma Jill, if not for Kubby, Jables, and Sammitch, do it for me. As a favor.
Please, we do not want the Whitlocks to have to 'settle' in these arrangements, but instead want to help and still be able to bless them.
If you would like to make larger, tax-deductible donations to this event/cause, please contact me at: slim@summitlife.com so that I can get you the information.
Here is a word from Kubby himself:
"I have been flooded with people asking me what they can do to help and if there is anything they can do just let them know so, I am letting you know... You all have asked me what I need and this is it. Please help out my family. Thank you and I love you all. God will also bless you for your help don’t forget that."
If you've taken the time to read this, it means you have a heart. Please re-post this bulletin, so that we can get the word out on this FAST APPROACHING event.
Thank you, and God Bless you.
Peace,
The Slim
Most of you who know me, are also familiar with one, more, or all of the Whitlock brothers: Jacob "Kubby" Whitlock, Jonathan "Jables" Whitlock, and Jesse "Big Sammitch" Whitlock.
Three invaluable friends of mine, who had one of the most precious mothers: Momma Jill.
Rather unexpectadly, Momma Jill passed away last Saturday. She had never been (as long as I had known her anyway) in incredible health, but she certainly hadn't been in any life-threatening danger.
After suffering a stroke in BOTH sides of her brain, the day after Christmas, she spent the remainder of the week in a coma until God took her home come the weekend.
Jill Marie Whitlock
Mother, Teacher, Follower of God
1950-2007
When Momma Jill left us, she left behind a legacy in her children, and BOATLOADS of stories and memories that will be cherished for the rest of our lives. Sadly, she also left behind the financial responsibility of her funeral costs to these three young men.
It is now OUR responsibility as friends (and family) of the Whitlock bros. and as DECENT HUMAN BEINGS to help aid our mates!
There is a day long (1pm-6pm) fundraising event that will be going on THIS SUNDAY, January 6th, at FOREVER TATTOO in Ft. Myers:
15560 McGregor blvd. suite 10
Fort Myers, FL. 33908
phone number to the shop is 239.415.4387
Mark Stewart, the owner of Forever Tattoo and friend of mine, Bishop, and the Whitlock family, is opening his shop for this event... They will be raffling two $100 gift certificates for Tattoos, at only $5 for a ticket, I'm sure that we could all afford 3, 4, even 5 of these tickets. Please remember that you're not investing in tattoos.. your investing the memory of this amazing woman.
Along with the raffle there will be art (from some of the GREATEST local artists) for sale and a bake sale (and seriously... who doesn't enjoy a good brownie at the local bake sale!?!) REMEMBER: 100% of the days sales go STRAIGHT to help Momma Jill and her family with funeral costs, etc. EVERY CENT!
And if all of that wasn't enough to get you in the door: there will also be some surprises at the event, which will remain nameless at this time... but trust me: YOU DO NOT WANT TO MISS IT!!
The approximate cost for the cremation is $2,500 (on the low end) plus the memorial costs, etc. So please, if not for Momma Jill, if not for Kubby, Jables, and Sammitch, do it for me. As a favor.
Please, we do not want the Whitlocks to have to 'settle' in these arrangements, but instead want to help and still be able to bless them.
If you would like to make larger, tax-deductible donations to this event/cause, please contact me at: slim@summitlife.com so that I can get you the information.
Here is a word from Kubby himself:
"I have been flooded with people asking me what they can do to help and if there is anything they can do just let them know so, I am letting you know... You all have asked me what I need and this is it. Please help out my family. Thank you and I love you all. God will also bless you for your help don’t forget that."
If you've taken the time to read this, it means you have a heart. Please re-post this bulletin, so that we can get the word out on this FAST APPROACHING event.
Thank you, and God Bless you.
Peace,
The Slim
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