Satus Quo...

Those of you who know me, know that my life is, at most times, rather crazy.

Things always seems to happen at the worst times.

As the rest of my life has been, the future will be as well.

Yesterday, I was enjoying my first day of unemployment (man, how long has it been since you can say that you were jobless?!?)... wondering how in the world I was going to make things work in this step of faith that I've taken, knowing well that I don't have enough $$ to pay my bills this month...

I think it might've the thought in my head that distracted me from the fact that my car was on fire.

Yeah...

I was driving down 75, headed home from a recording session in Naples when my temperature gauge went from normal to overheating in about 15 seconds. I pulled over just past the Corkscrew exit and lifted up my hood to find enough flames to roast a pig on.

Now, the picture is not of my car, nor were the flames that high... I just put that in for dramatic effect...

With that being said, I believe that may have truly been the last hoorah with my car. So, if you could all keep your eyes out for a REALLY CHEAP vehicle... nothing nice.. just cheap, that would be great; as we had about $12 in the bank until the tow-truck got there and cost us $10 to tow.... So yeah... a $2 car... keep you eyes open for it...

Thanks for everything guys..

SLIM

The TOP TEN Reasons you should re-elect Mike Scott for Sheriff.

Driving around town the past few weeks I've started seeing the "Re-Elect Sheriff Mike Scott" signs popping up all across town.

These signs have inspired me to write this evenings post, on the Top Ten reasons that YOU should Re-Elect Mike Scott.

I've had to privilege of SEEING this man on multiple occasions, however have yet the honor of meeting him and shaking the hand that helps to keep my family safe at night.

Perhaps one day, the Sheriff will read this post and realize that I'm freakin' awesome, at which point he'll invite me to lunch, probably to P.F. Changs (because seriously.. the 'Hot Fish' there is MAGNIFICENT!). He'll then thank me for my part in keeping the streets of San Carlos safe with my commitment to watch the neighborhood and being a mentor the teens and children of SCP.

Naturally, he'll then finally present me with my Honorary Sheriffs Deputy Badge, which I don't believe happens that often with him... which makes the fact that I have one even more punk rock!

So now... without further ado: The Top Ten Reasons to Re-Elect Sheriff Mike Scott.

#1. Veinte (for those of you who aren't fluent in Spanish, like myself, that means '20') | The great Sheriff Dr. Mike Scott has been with the Lee County Sheriff's Office since 1988.


Let's just do the math here 2008 minus 1988 = 20 years.

TWENTY YEARS as a Lee County Police Officer. Not only does he have 20 years as a Lee County Officer under his belt (22 years in law enforcement), but he was born and raised here in good ol' Lee County as well. Seriously, who knows this place better than him!?!


#2. He's a total stud | Seriously, if I was single and he was single, and I was into dudes and he was into dudes: I'd totally make that happen. The scenario is eerily reminiscent of a washed-up music group....


#3. Zebra Stripe Uniforms | Sheriff Scott decided to change the uniforms of the inmates in our prison system to Zebra Stripe black and whites... Now, come on... That's just punk rock.


#4. His Campaign Manager is Primo | His Mother, Appie D'Alessandro Scott, runs the Sheriffs re-election campaign.


This is not a first for this beautiful lady, as she ran the campaign for his last election as well! Being somewhat of a momma's boy myself, I can relate to that sense of family. But more than that, I can relate to the willingness to see great potential in your "Sweet ol' mom" and being confident (and man) enough to step aside and let her do her thing!

#5. Can somebody say "Track Record"? | Yeah... read a paper... his record speaks for itself.

#6. Homeboy's a Christian | The popular old question... What Would Jesus Do?


The answer: vote for Mike Scott!

I was not quite aware, at first, that Dr. Scott was a Christian. I found out at the funeral of a sweet young boy, John E. Halgrim.

See, John Halgrim was a REMARKABLE young man, who at a very young age (early teens) changed the lives of THOUSANDS of people. John had cancer, and while bed-ridden had just one wish: to help save the lives of the kids in Kibera, Kenya, Africa. I had been to Kenya with an organization called "Help the Least of These" to do some filming in the slum of Kibera, Kenya.

I brought that footage back and had the opportunity to work on a video of John Halgrim... his plea for people to help him help others. (you can find the video here, if the video doesn't play, you can click the links below it the view it)

Shortly after making the video, John sadly passed away.

At his funeral, they showed the video that I had made for John and "HTLOT". I happened to be sitting directly behind Sheriff Scott. After the video, he leaned over the woman next to him (who I'm assuming to be his mother...?) and told her how amazing the video was. I was proud to be a part of John's ministry, just as I know Sheriff Scott was proud to be there for that service, and proud to present John's family with the "Do the Right Thing Award" in honor of their son.

It was later that I was able to share that story to my friend and business partner, JoNeal, when Joe was like "Dude.. you know that guys a super Christian!?!" Good. We need more people who be lovin' Jesus serving in offices in this country!

#7. It would mean that Rod Shoap and Christian Meister wouldn't be in office | Both are dorks... trust me.

Meister:

Shoap:

Not much is known about Christian Meister, but Rod Shoap is just a tool.

The instant turn off for me (of course, speaking as the owner of a marketing and design company) is Shoap's crap-hole website (www.rodshoap.com ... ego much!?) ... seriously dude, if you REALLY want to get re-elected after your joke of a run as Sheriff, you might want to get AT LEAST a DECENT, if not AWESOME website, without the crappy flash, cheesy picture, and HUGE "Give me all your money now" buttons all over the place...

Come to think of it, Mr. Meister (at least that's fun to say!) needs a spruce up as well, not-to-mention the title line (the bar at the VERY TOP of your web browsers screen) off his website (www.meisterforsheriff.com) reads: "Sheriff Scott employs criminally convicted officers, falsifies, discriminates" ... Seriously bro... the FIRST impression of you is whining and talking trash? What are you... French!? (Now, I LOVE the French, so if you're French, don't take that wrong... I only included that last remark for dramatic effect..)

You don't reach your hand out to shake another person in introduction, saying "Hey! My name is Slim, and I think this guy over here is a d-bag!" That's just not cool. They say that your first impression is your ONLY impression... Senior Meister's score: ZERO.

The funny thing: on Sheriff Scott's page (www.wewantmike.com) he bashes neither opponent, yet they both seem rather quick to talk out of their 'hind-quarters' about this He-Man.

(I must inform those of you who don't know me well, that I'm not typically one for 'talking smack', but both of these fellows after left such a bad taste in my mouth with their child-like antics... so please, don't judge me...)


#8. Two Words: Buh Dass | "Reputations are earned!" his website boasts...


...if that's true, this dude's earning a 6 figure reputation salary in my book! No, not a REAL salary, but a salary made up of illustrious "Cool Points". Cheesy... I know... but true. And that's not a "low-number" six-figures either... we're talking in the $800 thousands, AT LEAST...

#9. He's an Amazing Boss | I know, I know, I know... it sounds weird that I, being the OWNER of my business, would refer to the Good Sheriff as my "Boss"

I'll explain:

Since I've declared myself:
and my dog, "The Dude":

as "Self-Appointed Honorary San Carlos K-9 SWAT" (you know, for my superior skills in keeping my community safe and sound... read more on my community greatness on Laura's latest blog post here), I believe that makes Sheriff Dr. Mike Scott my "Self-Appointed Honorary Boss"... which would, in turn, make him the best boss that I've ever had.

I'm actually starting a petition to have the nickname "The Boss" stripped from Bruce Spingsteen (homo), and given to Scott... you know... the guy who actually deserves it! (you can read more about my distaste for ol' Brucy here)

Last, but CERTAINLY not least:

#10. He's got fantastic hair | I know it sounds weird.... you know, because he's bald and all...

But he's only bald because his actual hair invokes such awesomeness that is rivaled only by the beard of Chuck Norris (which is no surprise, being that Norris and Scott are fraternal twins)

I saw the Sheriff's full head of hair once... I was immediately blinded by it's awesomeness.

So there you have it, boys and girls... the OFFICIAL top ten list of why the Great Sheriff Mike Scott should be re-elected and of course, why you should vote for him.

Aight... me and my K-9 counterpart are off to hit the beat... Lock and load, ladies!

SLIM

I AM THE LAW!!!

FYI: I am the law.

That is all.

S

10 Things... the addendum.

I've come to realize that in addition to my "10 Things" post, there are a couple other things that I'm currently loving that did not make it to my list amongst the more 'non-serious' ones.

11. Lego Star Wars for the Wii | Seriously, this game is epic.

In the latest make of it, it combines ALL 6 episodes into one jam-packed piece of awesomeness. With FOUR different modes of game play (which all must be completed in order to 'win' the game) with lots of hidden extras, coupled with an INCREDIBLE gaming interface with the Wii makes this game one of the greatest ever made!


12. Batter Blaster | That's right: Make a better breakfast faster... Batter Blaster.

I'd write more, but I wouldn't want anyone to think that Laura and I are competing on this front page worthy phenomenon. So, read all about it here, at Laura's blog.

So yeah... enjoy both of these pieces of goodness...
SLIM

10 Things I'm Lovin' Right Now...

(in no particular order)

1. Wine | I’ve often had a glass of wine with dinner. It was always good. However recently, I’ve discovered that in the correct time and quantity, the maximum ‘holy buzz’ is achieved.


Now, I’m not sure if the ‘holy buzz’ actually exists, perhaps that’s a question for ‘Prodigal John’, the author of stuffchristianslike.net, but in MY head the ‘holy buzz’ is that moment of alcoholic trippiness that brushes the border of drunkenness… which by ‘Biblical Law’ does not constitute as ‘drunk’. (See also: TIPSY, FADED,)


2. Dudetians | Believe it or not, in a galaxy far, far away (Woopsy… did I steal that line!?) there exists a planet known as “Duditer” (sounds suspiciously like “Jupiter”) where the inhabitants are all exact replicas (except for their distinct aqua-marine color… duh… everyone knows that) of my dog, Dude. These crazy animals, with ball-topped antenna on their craniums (think pom-pom), are known simply as “Dudetians”.

During a trip to the planet Duditer, I was able to capture this picture of the King of the Dudetians. Know only as: El Hombre.



3. Dudes Night Out | Or DNO, if you ask all of the TVs, microwaves, lamps, computers, soda cans, wine bottles, glass windows, mirrors, and paint cans that have recently been blown up by the Dudes of Dudes Night Out at our two most recent get togethers (and if you ACTUALLY ask them, you might need to look into professional help...). These were both long days full of a bunch of dudes and WAY too many, unnecessary firearms.

Dudes Night Out – the concept is simple… you leave the ladies at home… and the DUDES go OUT … at NIGHT (or sometimes during the DAY… but that would read: DDO, which is too much like ‘Dido’ …. And who would listen to that garbage? “You know how I know you’re gay? You listen to Dido.”)


We’ve even gone so far as to secure the web domain for DNO: www.dudesnightout.com. Yeah… evidently we’ve got that kinda time.


4. TAPCO AK Furniture | Of course, the last one opened the door right up for this one. I recently outfitted my AK-47 with this new furniture set (minus the stupid see-through mag. “You know how I know you’re gay? You’ve got stupid see-through mags on your AK.”) from TAPCO U.S.A.:


Not only does it fit perfectly, but it looks AWESOME. Shoots like a dream too. You know… not that that really matters…


5. Ant Bites | Yeah… just kidding.


6. Alex Cuba | I’m not sure if you’re “into” Latin music, or ‘Musica Latina’ as our Spanish-speaking friends would say, but you’ve GOT to check out Alex Cuba’s latest (and sophomore) album: Agua del Pozo. It’s a little hard to find in the store or online, but is, of course, readily available on iTunes.


EVEN IF YOU DON’T SPEAK SPANISH: buy it. Music is the universal language (along with money… and hugs. Both of which I’m in need of)


7. “FLASH” Shirts from [db]B | As most of you know, I’m a MASSIVE fan of the Dustin Burke Band (myspace.com/dustinburkeband). After a couple trips to their hometown of Dayton, OH and many conversations, my company (SLIM|LINE Visual Communications, www.slimlinedotcom.com) has become the exclusive Marketing & Merchandising company of the Dustin Burke Band.

We recently did these shirts as a joke for the guitar player, Flash Burke.

They make me laugh every time I see them.


8. My Mothers Alfredo | My mother is not Italian. Not even close, actually. She’s a lil’ Irish woman from the South of the US. She’s the best cook on the planet, especially when it comes to Southern food. Italian food was never plentiful in our house. I mean, outside of spaghetti and the occasional lasagna, we never really had homemade Italian.

Well, recently my mother tried her hand at an Alfredo pasta… something that she’s never done…

Blew me away! Seriously… my mom is amazing.


I had to look up the origin of Alfredo sauce… here it is:

So, there was this one guy, right!? His name was Alfred. He was kind of a nerd, so a lot of people in their town didn’t really know him all that well.

So anyway, right, he was making a sauce. Alfred’s sauce… if you will.

He let some of his buddies try it, right, and they were all “ Dude… this John’s is banging, son!”

They started to make it in larger batches and sell it in the town market. People would always be all “Yo, what is this sauce!?!?” and the merchants would be all “Oh, that dude Alfred makes this sauce.” And the consumers were all “Who?”

“Alfred.”

“Who?”

“You know, that dude Alfred… he lives up the hill.”

“Hmmm… Alfred… Alfred… Alfred..”

“You know! The dude with he crazy thick glasses and talks to himself all the time!?”

“Hmmm….”

“Seriously! You know the dude in math class back in middle school who ate grasshoppers for money!?”

“AHHHHH…. ALFRED, OH!”

From that point forward, the sauce was known as Alfred-Oh sauce… however, when it was brought to the states, they changed the name of it at Ellis Island… you know… to make it sound more American or something.

(long way to go for a bad joke… I know.)


9. Men | Yeah okay… we all know this isn’t new… I totally love dudes.



10. BBQ Chicken Chopped Salad from CPK | Srsly! This delectable piece of heaven should been called the ‘BBQ Shiznit Chopped Salad’ because for real… it’s the shiznit.


For those of you who would like to make your own, here’s the best recipe for it (with some minor changes to make it even better) from my friend, Julie, at momswhocook.blogspot.com:

2 chicken breast cooked and chopped
1 bunch romaine, 1 head iceberg chopped
1 c. jack cheese grated
1/2 to 1 can black beans drained and rinsed
1/2 to 1 can corn (optional)
1/2 c. chopped red onion
chopped cilantro to taste
chopped tomatoes
chopped cucumber (optional)
jicama (optional)
tortilla chips
Bulls eye BBQ sauce
Ranch
limes

Cook chicken and cover in bulls eye bbq sauce. Chop and toss the rest of the ingredients. Toss with the ranch dressing, crush chips, squeeze lime, and drizzle BBQ sauce on top right before serving. I like mine, drenched in BBQ sauce and lime!

Make it. Now.

So, ladies and gents… this concludes the “10 Things I’m Loving Right Now” thread on my blog. The ‘challenge’ in this post is to pick 10 things that aren’t things that you’ve loved all your life, and are not your family, close friends, etc.

They say this is really hard. I found it pretty easy. But I digress…

Mad Love,
The Slim One

Ants...

...they ate me....

.....ate me good.....

But seriously... I recently made some invites to give to Laura for an upcoming suiree. Now, if you know me, you know that I'm not good with that whole "remembering stuff" thing.... so needless to say, I was rather impressed with myself for bringing them home! Not to mention, I also remembered to bring home two Tupperware (not actual Tupperware, it's the off brand... you know... 'cause we're cheap....) that had been sitting in my office.

Well... naturally, I didn't remember to bring all of the stuff into my house.

Laura woke me this morning, asking where the invites were so that they could be cut a distributed accordingly. In my attempt to be chivalrous, I decided to roll out of bed (take a squeege) toss some shorts on (ewwwww...) and retrieve said forgotten items..

I should've worn waiters and galoshes , evidently...

Much to my surprise (which really shouldn't have surprised me at all) after opening my passenger door and filling my hands with the goods, I found myself in an immense amount of pain... generally in my footular region.

I looked down at my feet (insert fat joke here) to see them covered in roughly 1.3 billion ants. They proceeded to eat my feet, paying special attention to my right foot. (see below)

Due to the fact that my hands were full, and throwing my wifes invitations on the wet ground was not an option, I had to take it like a man, and leave the flesh eating terrors on my feet until I got in the house... at which point, I cried like a school girl.

That's my morning. It's a WONDERFUL start to my day...

(be on the look out for "The Slim-One Presents: '10 Things I'm Loving Right Now'" coming soon!)

Funk...

...I've been in one...

...for a while...